The Whole Story

Remembering Mom

My mom Marian Walker passed away peacefully in the early morning Saturday 11/2/24. Finally released from so much worldly pain, I hope she is now reunited with all the family and loved ones that have transitioned before her.

Celebration of Life

To share memories of Marian in photos, videos, and texts, click here.

A celebration of Marian's life will be held 9 November 2024 at 11:00am (viewing: 10:00am) at Davis Funeral Home in Wilmington, NC. Burial to follow in Bolivia, NC. Full details (including the link to the livestream webcast, and to the Tribute Wall) at
https://www.davisfuneralhomenc.com/obituaries/Marian-Walker?obId=33623638 

That site also links to the Tribute Wall, where you may post pictures, videos, and text remembrances of Marian.

No Flowers, Please

No family lives in the state, so most if not all flowers and bouquets will be disposed of immediately after the ceremony. Please contact me first at 917-553-2812 if you are considering sending flowers.

Other Stuff

Thanks everyone for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers for Mom, me, and Allan throughout this challenging 18 months. Your support has really, truly been appreciated by all of us.

PS: I am fine. I have been taking good care of myself throughout Mom's illnesses, and will continue to do so now as we honor her. Thanks for asking.

PPS: #FckCancer 

How It All Began...

In late June 2023 Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. It's a large mass radiating from her right lung and pushing into her trachea, so she's experiencing some difficulty breathing without additional oxygen.

The cancer has been classified as Stage 3, which means that it has spread to her lymph nodes but not to other organs or the brain. A 12 week  regimen (infusions every 3 weeks) of chemotherapy and immunotherapy is underway to shrink the mass and perhaps kill much of it.

I'm with her in North Carolina in the Wilmington/Cape Fear area for her upcoming treatments. We are very grateful to have good, caring doctors on her case. We are also very, very appreciative of all the kind words, thoughts, and prayers that have been sent our way since this all began.

UPDATE 8/27/23

It's now been two months since we began this fight. Mom just received her second round of large dose chemotherapy with subsequent doses to be administered 9/12 and 10/3. After the 10/3 dose the doctors will figure out her next steps in terms of treatment.

I'll be with her here in Wilmington (NC) during each chemo infusion and the weeks afterward, although cousin Faye will stay with her the second and third weeks following this latest round.

It's amazing that August is almost over already and that we've been dealing with this since the first day of summer. Two months passed in a flash! I've learned much so far in this journey and I expect to learn a lot more - about cancer, about our medical system, about ourselves.

UPDATE 10/20/23


It's been 4 months since Mom got her diagnosis of stage 3 lung cancer. I have been with her about 60% of the time - including every chemotherapy infusion day - down in Wilmington, North Carolina. The other 40% of the time I have spent taking care of personal business back home in Brooklyn. (Suddenly I'm an American Airlines frequent flyer…)

Mom has now successfully completed four rounds of large-dose chemotherapy where she endured every side effect imaginable. The great news is that the chemo and immunotherapies have been very effective so far, shrinking her tumor size by much more than half. Unfortunately, a few days after her last chemo session Mom had a minor ischemic stroke, causing her to be admitted to the hospital for four days. I was nearby when the stroke happened and I was able to call 9-1-1 to get her medical attention quickly, but it was a very scary week for us both while we waited to see if there would be major, permanent effects on her speech and/or vision. No one wants to stay overnight at a hospital let alone four overnights, but she pulled through like the tough trooper she is.

We now have additional doctor visits post-stroke (cardiology, neurology, gastroenterology) to make sure everything stays on track with her long-term health.

Now begins the second phase of treatment: radiation therapy in conjunction with continued low-dose chemotherapy. The radiation treatments are scheduled for every business day between 10/30 and 12/11. 

UPDATE 10/27/23

Yesterday a complication arose with Mom's gallbladder which led to an emergency hospitalization. Because she has gall stones and they were infected, the doctors were considering removing the entire gallbladder. This would have thrown a huge wrench in her cancer treatment scheduling but fortunately she responded well to antibiotics, so there will be no surgery for the time being. She is being discharged today after just one night in the hospital, and the plan to start radiation therapy next week remains on track. *phew*

UPDATE 6/9/24

A lot has happened since the last update at the end of October. A lot.

The good news is that, due in no small part to everyone's generous support, we were able to  weather 30+ grueling days of radiation treatments.  Mom did not miss a single treatment even on her sickest days. Lady's got an iron will. After the final treatment I returned to New York and for a while life returned to normal.

In February came the bad news: the cancer wasn't completely eradicated and it was now presenting in the previously clear lung. Mom was feeling a lot of bad symptoms from the prescribed cancer treatments. And on top of all that, gallbladder removal  surgery needed to be performed.

In mid-April, right after the successful gallbladder removal, Mom decided that she no longer wanted cancer treatments, and additionally she would opt for palliative-only, home hospice care. I have been 50% in North Carolina since that time (through August) working with Gentiva Hospice to make her as comfortable and pain free as possible.

UPDATE 8/15/24

Since mid-June Mom has been part of the community at the Northchase Nursing and Rehabilitation Center, a long term skilled nursing facility. Her payment is her entire monthly retirement income supplemented by Medicaid benefits, which we successfully applied for and now receive through the NC Department of Social Services.

In mid-April 2024, Mom decided to enter palliative-only, home hospice care. I have been 50% in North Carolina since that time (through August) working with Gentiva Hospice to make her as comfortable and pain free as possible.

Special shout-outs to Bessie who helped us with the car; Sharonda who helped get rid of furniture on the last day; Lisa who at the last minute kicked my tushie over the finish line; and of course Allan.

So our cancer struggle seems to be entering its final stages. Either a miracle is going to happen or, well... Mom does very much appreciate your thoughts and prayers so please keep them going. Thank you.